So You Think YOUR Wedding Was Bad?


The following offbeat wedding stores are all true (well, at least I have seen them printed in reputable sources). Other true (and false) wedding stories can be found in the Wedding Urban Legends Reference Pages. Enjoy!


From the Burlington County Times, September 7, 2003:

CAR LANDS IN FLYING W POOL

http://www.phillyburbs.com/pb-dyn/news/112-09072003-155034.html

By Danielle Delfin

MEDFORD - With sounds of wedding music in the background, a guest of the reception was led away in handcuffs last night after she lost control of her car and landed in the pool of the Flying W Airport Resort.

Township police were called to the Fostertown Road airport, restaurant and hall at about 8:40 p.m. after the vehicle landed into the airplane-shaped pool.

An unidentified boy was taken to Virtua-Memorial Hospital Burlington County in Mount Holly. His condition was unknown last night, but witnesses said he was not critically injured.

The driver, an unidentified woman, and her male passenger were rescued from the submerged vehicle and were not injured, police said.

Medford police Capt. James Kehoe said the accident is under investigation. Police are investigating the incident as a possible case of drunken driving, he said.

The driver, who attended the wedding with an invited guest, is under 21, Kehoe said.

Witnesses say the car crashed through a wooden fence into the pool area and then circled back out of the vicinity towards the restaurant and reception hall. The vehicle then re-entered the pool area and landed in the water.

"People were all around the pool and then just started running and jumping out of the way," said Tammy Karp of Medford, who was celebrating a friend's birthday when the accident occurred. "We were scared to death. It all happened so fast. She was not slowing down."

Lawn chairs were toppled and skid marks were visible last night as police cordoned off the scene. The car engine was under water.

Kristi Presgrove of Texas also witnessed the incident.

"We were on the deck and we heard a loud crash and saw the car near the pool," she said.

Presgrove said men, who were standing near the pool, held on to the back of the car so the vehicle occupants could get out.

The driver, in a cocktail dress, sat with a towel around her before being taken in handcuffs to the Medford police station.

"We were eating dinner and we saw the car coming around the curve," said Nancy Andrews, who was at the Flying W for her aunt's birthday. "I was really worried because there were kids near the pool. It was horrible."

Witnesses say they feared the car was going to hit the building where the hall and restaurant are located. The car instead turned and went into the pool.

The boy who was taken to the hospital, witnesses said, was able to walk on his own back into the restaurant after the incident.


From AP, August 26, 2003:

WEDDING GUEST BITES OFF MAN'S FINGER

http://www.tuscaloosanews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20030826/APA/308260734

A wedding guest bit off part of a man's finger during a reception at a banquet hall, police said.

Michael VanStrate, 31, was arraigned Monday on two counts of assault with intent to do great bodily harm less than murder, one count of aggravated assault and one count of simple assault following the weekend incident.

The Owosso man also smeared cake on a 9-year-old boy and knocked out a 49-year-old woman, Corunna Police Sgt. Kevin Clark told The Flint Journal.

VanStrate, an invited guest of the Owosso-area couple, "was causing altercations and arguments with other guests" at the Friday night reception, Clark said. "He was asked to leave a couple times, and he'd leave and come back in."

After witnesses said VanStrate, who is 6-foot-2 and weighs 260 pounds, smeared cake on the boy's face, Clark said "the father came to the son's rescue, struggling with the suspect, and he apparently had his finger bit off at that time."

The bridegroom, 21, then intervened, Clark said. Police said VanStrate later elbowed the 49-year-old woman in the head during the scuffle, knocking her out temporarily.

State troopers and officers from Corunna, a community about 25 miles west of Flint, eventually subdued VanStrate early Saturday.

The guest whose right index finger was bitten off between the first and second joints was taken to Hurley Medical Center in Flint, where doctors were unable to reattach the digit. The bridegroom was treated and released at Memorial Healthcare Center in Owosso.

VanStrate remained in custody after Shiawassee County District Judge Ward Clarkson set bond at $25,000.


From the Sydney Morning Herald, July 4, 2003:

COUPLE WINS REFUND OVER SAD SONGS PLAYED AT WEDDING

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/07/02/1056825454222.html

A pair of newlyweds in China have won a refund for their wedding banquet after sad songs were played throughout the festivities.

As the couple toasted their marriage with guests at a restaurant in Keqiao, Hangzhou, Zhejiang province, morose Chinese songs including "You Took Away My Woman" and "Why Do You Love Someone Else Secretly" were played in the background.

The couple were given an 80 per cent discount on the banquet, which cost 1500 yuan ($270) per table, after they threatened to report the restaurant to the local consumer association, the Hong Kong edition of the China Daily newspaper reported.


From AP, April 25, 2002:

CHURCH STOLEN AS COUPLE PREPARES FOR WEDDING

http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/0425StolenChurch-ON.html

COLUMBIA, S.C. - Lori Sullens and Freddie Rodriguez are planning a church wedding - if they can only find their church. It seems someone has stolen it.

The Columbia couple is to wed Saturday, at the year-old Grace Covenant Associate Reformed Presbyterian Church, which meets at a local YMCA.

During the week, the items using during the services are stored in a trailer outside the Y. Earlier this week, authorities say, someone hitched up and drove off with the church trailer.

Rev. Jerry Berry says he's heartsick. But he notes a church really is the people who worship there - not just material surroundings.


From excite.com, December 18, 2001

GROOM-TO-BE EATS ENGAGEMENT RING

http://www1.excite.com/home/news/news_article/0,11746,195843|oddlyenough|12-18-2001::08:40|reuters,00.html

OSLO (Reuters) - A Norwegian unwittingly swallowed a gold ring hidden in his porridge by his girlfriend as a surprise proposal of marriage.

"Now I am 24 carats heavier," Svein Froeytland told Norwegian local daily Faedrelandsvennen, adding: "It is the inner qualities that count."

Janne Grim, who hid the ring in her boyfriend's porridge at a Christmas party, said she thought her proposal had been ignored before realizing that it had been gulped down unnoticed.

Froeytland went ahead with his engagement by borrowing a ring from one of the guests -- while waiting for the original ring to re-appear naturally.


From excite.com, December 12, 2001

GROOM CHOKES TO DEATH ON BRIDE'S FINGERNAIL

http://news.excite.com/news/r/011212/09/odd-wedding-dc

TEHRAN (Reuters) - An Iranian bridegroom bit off more than he could chew when, according to custom, he licked honey from his bride's finger during their marriage ceremony and choked to death on one of her false nails.

The Jam-e Jam newspaper said on Wednesday the 28-year-old groom died on the spot in the northwestern city of Qazvin while the bride was rushed to hospital after fainting from shock.

Iranian couples lick honey from each other's fingers when they get married so that their life together starts sweetly.


From the Indianapolis Star, March 21, 2001

INMATE HANGS HIMSELF HOURS AFTER WEDDING

http://www.starnews.com/news/articles/jaildead0321.html

Man had been arrested on domestic battery charge; relative questions jail's low staffing.
By Paul Bird

FRANKLIN, Ind. -- Michael W. McTarsney and Marjorie Skiles exchanged wedding vows Monday afternoon in the Johnson County clerk's office.

About nine hours later, McTarsney was arrested on a preliminary charge of domestic battery after arguing with his 28-year-old bride during their wedding celebration.

At 7 a.m. Tuesday, McTarsney, 30, was found dead in his Johnson County Jail cell as breakfast was being served. Sheriff J.D. Richards said the newlywed hanged himself.

The investigation has been turned over to State Police.

Tuesday afternoon, McTarsney's mother-in-law questioned the vigilance of jailers.

"How can we have such a state-of-the-art new jail and run it with only three people on duty?" Bess Skiles asked.

"Jail is supposed to be somewhere to safely punish someone, not where you die," she said. "If the jail had been properly staffed, if someone had looked in on Mike more often, he'd probably be alive."

Inmates are being kept in an addition to the jail as the older parts of the building are renovated.

Authorities said McTarsney was placed alone in the cell about 3 a.m. after becoming argumentative and aggressive toward jail employees and inmates.

Seventeen other inmates were in a common area a few feet from the cell door, the sheriff said.

"No one heard anything," he said.

Richards has pleaded with the Johnson County Council for more correctional officers. He requested a dozen more; the council approved four. Three jailers were on duty overnight to watch more than 150 inmates.

The last time jailers checked on McTarsney was 3:45 a.m.

His death was the second tragedy for the family in six months. On Sept. 22, Daniel Shannon Whittington, 32, a son of Bess Skiles', was found dead in the family's apartment. He had hanged himself.

Skiles said Tuesday that her daughter was in shock over her husband's death and was being treated at Community Hospital South.

"They were having a party and some people were pretty drunk," she said. "The music was loud and one of the neighbors called police. My daughter pleaded with the officers not to arrest her new husband, but they didn't listen."


From excite.com, January 31, 2001

110-YEAR-OLD FARMER TO WED

http://news.excite.com/news/r/010131/10/odd-groom-dc

Updated 10:50 AM ET January 31, 2001 RIYADH (Reuters) - Saudi doctors have given a 110-year-old farmer the go-ahead to marry for a third time to a bride half his age.

Abdullah al-Maeedh al-Qahtani attributed his longevity and "phenomenal good health" to his daily diet of home-made brown wheat bread, honey, milk and dates, the Saudi Gazette daily reported Wednesday.

It quoted Dr. Yahya Ibrahim of Suleiman Faqeeh Hospital in the Saudi Red Sea port city of Jeddah as saying that medical tests on Qahtani showed he was in excellent health.

"His heart is fluttering for a Syrian woman who will revive memories of his younger age," the Saudi Gazette said.

The unidentified would-be bride will join Qahtani's family of 70 children and grandchildren from his two previous marriages, it added.


From excite.com, December 10, 2000:

COUPLE'S SECRET WEDDING PLANS BLOWN BY MADONNA

http://news.excite.com/news/r/001210/07/odd-people-madonna-dc

LONDON (Reuters) - Two shy lovers planning a secret Scottish wedding had their plans blown apart when they ended up on the same "intended marriage" list as pop superstar Madonna.

Jane Tooze and Andrew Davies were planning a quiet Christmas Eve wedding at romantic Skibo Castle and then break the news afterward to friends and families.

But the couple's plans were flashed in news photographs around the world when they shared the same noticeboard with Madonna and her film director boyfriend Guy Ritchie at the Dornoch registrar's office in Scotland.

Jane Tooze told Saturday's Sun tabloid: "It now looks like we may have to make a few phone calls to family and friends beforehand ... We certainly didn't -- and don't -- want publicity."


From excite.com, September 5, 2000:

BOY MEETS GIRL, THEN DAD WEDS HER MOM

http://news.excite.com/news/r/000905/08/odd-inlaws-dc

TIRANA, Albania (Reuters) - Talk about love at first sight. At the engagement party of two Albanian teenagers, the groom's father and the bride's mother fell in love and eloped.

The Gazeta Shqiptare newspaper said the future in-laws called their jilted spouses from their honeymoon in Greece to file for divorce.

The teenagers are due to be married shortly, the paper said.


From excite.com, April 12, 2000:

GROOM ARRESTED MINUTES BEFORE TYING KNOT

http://news.excite.com/news/r/000412/10/odd-wedding

Updated 10:37 AM ET April 12, 2000 VERONA, Italy (Reuters) - Undercover police swooped on an Italian man moments before he pronounced his wedding vows Tuesday and arrested him for using false documents and a fake identity to get married.

Police, who had waited in the congregation, said Federico Cavallini, 27, had been paid three million lire ($1,486) to marry an Albanian woman seeking Italian citizenship. The bride-to-be did not know he was using an assumed name.

Cavallini had used the alias to protect his identity.

The woman will be expelled from Italy. The groom's witness was also arrested, police said.


From excite.com, August 16, 1999:

COUPLE SELLS ADS TO PAY FOR WEDDING

Talk about a marriage of love and money. Tom Anderson and his bride Sabrina Root paid for their $34,000 wedding this weekend by selling advertising space at the ceremony and reception.

Everything from the wedding rings to a week at a penthouse in Cancun, Mexico, were donated after Anderson got 24 companies to sponsor the nuptials in exchange for having their names appear six times from the invitations to the thank-you cards.

Anderson, 24, a bartender, did cough up his own money for his wife's $1,400 engagement ring, while Root, 33, a hair stylist, paid $1,600 for her dress.

The groom got the idea of corporate sponsorships while working in a small struggling animation studio that often had to barter for services.

"So I was in a sales mode, and I got to thinking," he told the Philadelphia Inquirer, which ran a photo of the couple sitting among their corporate-sponsored wedding "gifts" in its Sunday editions.

The bride drew the line at having advertising banners draped across the aisle. But her perfume came from a local distributor, and coffee was provided gratis from a neighborhood supplier.

Advertisers had their names appear on the invitations and thank-you cards, on cards at the buffet, on scrolls at the dinner table, in an ad placed in a local independent newspaper and in a verbal "thank you" that followed the first toast.

The Inquirer said the groom had bought two addresses on the Internet's World Wide Web, namely: sponsoredwedding.com and weddingsponsors.com.


From Canoe, September 10, 1998:

BRIDE SUES WEDDING SINGER OVER HIS TUNES -- AND WINS

http://www.acmi.canoe.ca/CNEWSHeyMarthaArchive/sep10_bride.html

YONKERS, N.Y. (AP) -- A young bride who really hated the Frank Sinatra tunes her wedding singer insisted on singing decided to sue him -- and won.

In March, Bridget Griffin-Amiel agreed to pay $3,275 for a five-piece band -- led by singer Paul Rich -- to perform at her wedding reception.

After the contract was signed, but before the wedding, Rich quit the band. Rocco Terris, owner of the orchestra, didn't tell the bride, saying, "Sometimes it's not the best to announce this a day or two before the wedding."

Instead, he sent Tony Avena to cover for Rich. The blushing bride noticed the difference. She said Tony stank.

"He sang Frank Sinatra-type tunes," said Ms. Griffin-Amiel. "I didn't want Frank Sinatra-type tunes." She had expected Rich to be more upbeat and youth-oriented.

The bride demanded half her money back. Terris sent her $1,000, insisting the wedding had been a success. The bride sued for the remainder and won, with the judge ruling that the substitute wedding singer "was by no means equivalent" to the original.

"I'm not saying this singer was incompetent," Judge Thomas Dickerson said Wednesday. "But he wasn't the style she preferred."


From Newsday, August 1, 1997:

RUN! HERE COME THE BRIDES

Police had to be called in to restrain a rowdy crowd at a bridal shop in Brookfield, Wisconsin. Women swarmed in to make sure the store, which is closing, would deliver their gowns on time.

Only a few of the hundred people outside were allowed in the store at a time, and by mid-morning police were called in to control the crowd outside.

When anyone left the store carrying a dress covered in pink plastic, the crowd clapped and yelled their support.


From Newsday, March 24, 1997:

DOWN AISLE, BEHIND BARS

The groom had to use cash received as wedding gifts to post his new wife's bail after the New Jersey newlyweds and several guests were arrested after a brawl at their reception.

Police said a melee involving about 20 people broke out at the Camden reception hall Friday night. When police arrived, several guests attacked the officers. The 19-year-old bride allegedly punched one police officer in the eye and spat on another. She was charged with two counts of aggravated assault on police officers and was released after her husband posted $1,500 bail.


From the Daily News, May 28, 1997:

FOR RICHER OR POORER

Continuing to practice austerity pretty much just for the heck of it, Pakistani lawmakers have outlawed extravagant wedding feasts in public places. The traditional opulent valima wedding meal may continue to be held in private homes, but if you want your celebration at a fancy hotel or club or something, from now on you're allowed to serve only soft drinks. All this is spelled out under something actually called the Marriages (Prohibition of Wasteful Expenses) Bill. Violators face fines of thousands of dollars.


From the New York Post, May 28, 1997:

STUNNED WIFE SUES HER GENDER-BENDING "HUBBY"
by David K. Li, Post Correspondent

Santa Ana, California -- You can't argue with this as grounds for divorce.

A California woman ended her marriage in March when she found out -- after almost a year -- that her spouse was another woman, court papers said.

Now Correen Zahnzinger, 24, is suing alleged gender-bender Valerie Inga, 29, for fraud and infliction of emotional distress.

Zahnzinger claims she believed -- during two years of dating and their married life together -- that Inga was actually Antonia Marciano, a man.

The lawsuit filed in Orange County Superior Court last week does not explain how Zahnzinger was fooled.

Zahnzinger's lawyer, Steven Zwick, said Inga targeted his client.

"You'd pick her out of a crowd. She's an attractive woman," he said.

Inga could not be reached for comment, but a close friend said she knew exactly what she was getting.

"There was no fraud. She knew what she was doing. They lived together for two years. How could she not have known?" the pal said.

Zahnzinger is also suing for breach of contract, claiming Inga failed to pay her $300,000 in hush money to keep quiet about their marriage.


From the Chicago Tribune, August 3, 1993:

WEDDING CAKE RITE LEADS TO ARRESTS... OF THE NEW BRIDE AND GROOM

A bride and groom in Westport, Conn., got into a fight over the tradition of cramming wedding cake into the face of one's beloved.

Tracey and John O'Donnell were arrested at their wedding reception Saturday for disturbing the peace.Tracey O'Donnell said her husband fed her the cake too roughly, after she had told him to take it easy, police reported. Fighting ensued when she responded in kind, police said. The couple were later released. They are due in court Sept. 14.

(Thanks to the Urban Legends Reference Pages for this one)


From Reuters, March 15, 1994:

WEDDING GUESTS SEE BESTIALITY VIDEO BY MISTAKE

A British man was found guilty on Tuesday of having sex with a dog after a video he made of the act was inadvertently shown to speechless wedding guests expecting to see a replay of a marriage ceremony.

The 59-year-old lent his video recorder to a friend to film the wedding, but forgot to erase from the tape scenes of himself in sex acts with a neighbour's bull terrier named Ronnie.

The man said the 10-minute film shown to the jury had been an attempt at trick photography and featured only simulated sex acts. He will be sentenced after psychiatric and other reports have been made available.

And the same story from Press Association Newsfile, March 15, 1994:

CANINE SEX VIDEO UPSET WEDDING GUESTS

Wedding guests were shocked when they sat down at a reception to watch film of the ceremony but instead saw sex scenes involving a naked man and a dog, a court heard today. Derek Jeffrey, 59, who had filmed himself in sex acts with a neighbour's bull terrier - named Ronnie - had later lent his camcorder to a friend to video a wedding thinking the footage had been erased.

Jeffrey, of Saunder's Way, Camber, East Sussex, denied bestiality with a dog, but was found guilty today by a jury at Hove Crown Court which was shown a 10-minute version of the video he made in his bedroom. He was remanded on bail for psychiatric and other reports.

Jeffrey told the jury that he made the recording with the dog after he and a group of friends had watched a porn video involving sex between humans and animals. He claimed he was trying to demonstrate that such sex scenes could be filmed by trick photography and said his video showed only simulated acts. "When I sobered up I was disgusted and ashamed." Jeffrey said that when he lent his camcorder to a friend he thought the scenes with the dog had been erased.

(Thanks to the Urban Legends Reference Pages for this one)


[Main Wedding Page] [Wedding Advice] [Wedding Photo Album
[Peter's Page!] [Email Peter!]

[Vote For My Page!] Peter A. Dutton, Jr.
dutton@alumni.princeton.edu
Last Updated: September 8, 2000